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LightningBugs / Older 'n Dirt ! !

"Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day,
"What was your favorite fast
food when you were growing up?"

"We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All the
food was slow."
"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"

"It was a place called 'at home,'"
I explained. "Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we
sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put
on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it."

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I
was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him
the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are
some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his
system could have handled it:
Some parents
NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out
of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something
called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or
maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe
he died.

My
parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had
heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had
one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but
my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but
they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was
blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third
was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding
across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front
of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was
called "pizza pie." When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the
cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that,
too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that,
the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine."

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone
in the house was in the living room, and it was on a party line. Before you
could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't
already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to
our home. But milk was.

All
newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered
a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2
cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect
the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me
50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the
ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their
mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue
with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't
know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty, and we weren't
allowed to see them.

If you grew up
in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these
memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a
gut laughing.
I might be
older than dirt but those memories
are the
best
part of my life.
This is the
day the Lord hath made.
Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
"Senility Prayer"...God grant me...
The senility to forget the people I never liked
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference."
GOD BLESS
Have a great
week ! ! ! ! !
Don't forget to pass this
along!!
Especially to all your really
OLD
friends.
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