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Midi Start & Stop
Doors:
Do not
allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on hind
legs and hammer with forepaws. Once the door is opened, it is not
necessary to use it. After you have ordered an outside door opened,
stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is
particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow and mosquito
season.
Guests:
Quickly
determined which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that human's
lap. If you can arrange to have Friskies Fisn'N Glop on your breath
so much the better.
For
sitting on laps or rubbing against trousers, select fabric color which
contrasts well with your fur. For example: white-furred cats go to
black wool clothing.
For the
guest who claims, "I love kitties", be ready with aloof disdain;
apply claws to stockings or use a quick nip on the ankle.
When
walking among dishes on the dinner table, be prepared to look surprised
and hurt when scolded. The idea is to convey, "But you allow me
on the table when company isn't here".
Always
accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do
anything. Just sit and stare.
Work:
If one of
your humans is sewing or writing and another is idle, stay with the busy
one. This is called helping, otherwise known as hampering.
Following are the rules for hampering:
1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the
cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being
stepped on, picked up and consoled.
2. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between the
human's eyes and the book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3. For knitting projects, curl up quietly onto the lap of the
knitter and pretend to doze. Occasionally reach out and slap the
knitting needles sharply. This can cause dropped stitches or split
yarn. The knitter may try to distract you with a scrap ball of
yarn. Ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work.
Play:
It is
important. Get enough sleep in the daytime so you are fresh for
playing catch mouse or king-o-the-hill on their bed between 2 and 4 a.m.
Begin
people training early. You will have a smooth-running
household. Humans need to know basic rules. They can be taught
if you start early and are consistent!
Author
Unknown
As a cat
lover Happiness is
BEING OWNED by a CAT
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